Dear colourpopz:

You wrote: ” He often told me (during ldr) that he feels like a different person in UK”- don’t take this statement lightly, especially because he said it to you often.

He reads to me, from your sharing, like an authentic and honest man. Unfortunately, he is not unattached. His attachment to his parents, his guilt associated with them, these are a big part of his makeup at this point.

What the statement I quoted means to me is that during the time he was in the UK he was different from who he was in his home country, and he is presently different from the way he was when in the UK. He can be that soulmate only if he lives away from his parents. Only if he stays away from his parents. Only if he lives in your country.

If he is not planning on living away from his parents and friends, then whether him being a soulmate to you is irrelevant. List those things you like so much about who he WAS (and is not likely to be THERE), and do your best to locate these traits in another man, in the future. Be open to the fact that the new man will be different but as wonderful to be with. Make sure, above all, that the future man will be accepting of you, respecting of you as he was (don’t compromise on this one thing)- that will make being in his arms safe and comfortable.

anita