Dear U,

Of course it will hurt like hell. It hurt me too to hurt him like this but it hurt the relationship more that I was staying on when my heart just wasn’t there. A part of it is immaturity but a huge part of it was the death of love. Accepting that death and moving on from it was something that had to be done. It wasnt easy though – we stayed in touch, I wanted to be there for him but I often cried when I thought of how much I hurt him. But I was resolute because the commitment was truly gone from my part. He would act all normal in the beginning when we texted and then get angry, accusatory and just lash out at me saying I used him etc I wish he understood this wasn’t an easy choice. Now he does thankfully. Keeping distance from eachother and moving forward with our lives has helped.

I did meet someone else bdw afterwards and thought we were casual initially thanks to some shit circumstances in which we met, we fell in love. He is very different from my ex and it’s been quite a while since we got serious but this time I thought things through before I entered into a new relationship. Though the spark phase is gone now and we have gone long distance, I want to be with him – there is that component which was missing previously that’s there in this relationship.

Will it last?

Gosh I hope so, I will try my best but is there a guarantee about feelings from anyone’s side?

Nope but we gotta take a leap of faith with love. Some love stories arent meant to be but that doesn’t mean there weren’t amazing moments, there weren’t moments of learning.

Every woman isn’t like your ex – that’s your hurt talking. I know you were hoping you would have the same story as your married buddies but perhaps that’s just what you think you want, it’s not what you need.

Now you have more clarity and you gotta give yourself the time to heal through the pain, the confused, angry emotions and you will be mad at her for quite a while – some of it will make sense, some of it won’t…

Time heals things though.

Let life take its course. You will never know what’s up next.

Regards
Nina