Hi Mikki3 –

I love how what Anita said – ‘for a little girl, the mother is the most important person in the world’ ties in with what you said – ‘if it were my daughter coming to me with all of this, I would tell her …’

Perhaps you can be both that mother and that daughter and have a loving conversation with yourself. Perhaps the daughter could write a letter to the mother and the mother could respond. As I hope you have found here, putting things in writing can help you identify your true feelings. You may also want to print out what you wrote here and highlight what stands out to you. That may give you the clarity you seek.

Only you can make the right decision for yourself, but I’ll share what I have learned – Fear of abandonment can keep us from committing to relationships, but it can also keep us in the wrong ones for too long. Best wishes on your journey.