Dear John:

If you move out, you wrote, “it will be so expensive.” Makes me think of a slave, saying something like: If I move out of my owner’s house, I will have to pay my own rent! I can’t afford it!

I have spent a few nights in two different shelters in SoCal, many years ago: one was wonderful (a shelter for abused women, South Bay, included staying there through day and night, eating together, counseling) but the other (a general shelter, in a church, nights only)- was terrible and I don’t see how it could help me- the latter was for the sole purpose of being indoors at nights.

I don’t like the idea of you being homeless, in the streets, in nightly shelters only, your health deteriorating, damaged, exposed to violence in the streets. So, I am not recommending: get out now! No matter where to!

In life there are choices and consequences. There are consequences to having your mother in your life. And there will be consequences to living away. You choose, you are the one to choose, because it is YOU who will live with the consequences. Don’t beat yourself up for not working; don’t be angry with yourself- please- try to see it as strictly Choices -> Consequences, that is all.

anita