Dear Kaynah:

When you overthink about the Why- why he doesn’t love you- it means you still want to find a way to make him love you. The (over)thinking is motivated by this quest: if I find out why he doesn’t love me, I will find a way to make him love me.

You are also thinking- are you not- something like: if he doesn’t love me, it means I am unlovable. The only way I can be lovable is if he loves me.

And so the power to make you lovable remains with him.

Thing is, the reason he doesn’t love you is not because you are unlovable. If you only knew this, deep inside, you wouldn’t be thinking why.

Back to the title of your thread: I sure hope you no longer allow you to string you along. He wouldn’t be able to string you along if you no longer hoped to make him love you, and/ or if you no longer saw him as your only hope to be loved by a man.

anita