Dear clemmonce:

So this relationship caused you anxiety: it was not loving or safe for you. She was and is able to see only her advantage, her immediate need, not caring about your advantage and needs. She was willing to make this a Lose-Win proposition: Lose for you, Win (short term) for her (ex. you keep awake, no matter how very tired- Lose for you- so that she has your company until she is ready to sleep- Win for her).

What is the confusion about for you, then- you seem quite clear in viewing this relationship as unhealthy, unloving (and a Losing proposition) for you…?

anita