Dear Kendall Adams:

You wrote: “after 10 months of constant back and forth after a painful broken engagement, I need some closure and resolve“- what you want is a revival of the engagement with Jeff and a loving married life to follow. If that is not possible, you want to move on, to let go of Jeff and of the hopes and dreams of a life with him.
You KNOW what you want.

Let’s look closer at what he wants, quoting from his text to you:

“I need time to mature and figure out what I want in life.”- he is 39, and it’s been 10 months following the broken engagement. He is still not mature. He still does NOT KNOW if he wants you in his life.

He continued: “…I thought if we talked and saw each other sometimes, something is better than nothing”- all he has for you is “something (that) is better than nothing”- that something is so little compared to what you want: a revival of the engagement and a married life. That “something”, clearly is far from adequate for you.

“but I understand that I have to have my yes be yes and my no be no, not put us in this in between state”- I agree. Notice that he wrote that HE is putting you in this “in between state” and is proposing to continue to put you in this in-between-state for another two months.

“…I am not ready to commit right now.”- again, this is after 10 months of In-between-state and at 39.

“I think we should take a communication sabbatical to seek God so that my yes can be yes and my no can be no.”-
Notice he is suggesting to put you in this in-between-state, which he acknowledges is painful to you for another two months, calling it a ‘sabbatical to seek God”- giving his indecisiveness a religious touch.

“I love you and want to treat your heart right, and I haven’t been. I love you so much, and I want the best for you and for us. I feel like I can’t give you what you want or deserve in a relationship right now.”- stated for the third time: NO. Basically he did say NO to your relationship for the third time in this very recent text.

I will put all this together in the next post I am about to type (this is becoming too long)

anita