Dear hungryhamster:

I think I understand. Feeling shy, the way you felt, it wasn’t … wrong for you to feel the way you did, you can’t help the way you feel, it is not subject to choice. Feelings just happen, they are automatic mental events. Was it annoying to him that you were shy? Maybe. People are annoyed for all kinds of reasons, I don’t know.

He did have the opportunity, maybe, if he was able and so inclined, to help you along. You opened up to him enough to tell him about your struggle. Did he try? I don’t know (did he?)

Being shy is the same as being afraid of rejection, ridicule and such. Everyone is afraid of something. I wonder what he was afraid of, if he shared with you. He had the chance, when you opened up to him. He could have told you then about what he is afraid of.

Are you aware of why he withdrew from the vacation idea? If you’d like to share about your shyness, fear of intimacy, dislike of your body, anything at all, please do and I will thoughtfully reply when I am back, about six hours from now.

anita