Dear Heartbrokengurl,

First the most important thing: a very warm hug from the Netherlands. You are worth that.

I wanted to write you because I felt much like you do when I was 35. I was struggling with my work and relationships were not working out. I got depressed and was in a dark place.

Now will not follow a story of me finding a great job and the perfect partner. Life is not a movie.

But, life can be much richer and more interesting than a movie.

In the past five years, I have slowly begun to give my life new meaning. I have developed a passion for sports. I have made new friends in New places (in the Couchsurfing community, for example). I have lived some of my travel dreams. And I have worked abroad several times. Something I wanted to do but was so afraid of doing.

This all was not easy. I am now not a Zen-master fully in balance with life and the universe.

I have no idea where I will be in five years time, and whether it will be with someone.

I still have dark days sometimes.

And yet … These past five years?

They were the best in my life. I am proud of the things I have been able to do. I am grateful for the things my body, my soul and the world allowed me to do. And I am hopeful for the future and looking forward to it.

I do not know where your life will lead you, and where you will lead your life.

I do know that you may very well surprise yourself. There is strength, the ability to wonder and to empathize, to dream and to dare, in you.

I would not be surprised if, five years from now, your life has changed and developed in ways that will make you look back in wonder and smile.

Love from the Netherlands. I believe in you.

Harmen