Dear heartbrokengurl:

I like your last line: “I suppose I need to be more picky the next time around”- it takes less time (which is important to you, time) and way less energy long term to prevent a problem than it is to try to solve the problem once you are in it.

It will benefit you greatly to evaluate a man before getting into a relationship with him, be selective and choose a compatible man, instead of not being selective at first and then trying to change a man who was not compatible with you to begin with.

It may help for you to write down what a compatible-man looks like, behaves like, lives like to you, at least, what the necessary ingredients of such compatibility, so that you will have those standards clear in front of you next evaluate a candidate for a relationship.

anita