Dear spring0108:

I think that competent psychotherapy is an excellent idea.

I also think that you taking so much responsibility for the ending of the last relationship is not true to reality. He carries responsibility too, maybe 50%, which means you are left with 50%.

I am thinking that your strategy of putting yourself second or last to others, be it family members or boyfriends is not working for you. In therapy, I hope you explore this strategy, the origin on it (when it started, most likely in childhood), and change it. It will take work and time to change it, as this strategy is a strong habit.

“Meant to be alone?” (title of your thread)- no, you are not meant to be alone. Meant to be second? No, you are not meant to be second either.

anita