Thank you for your reply anita,

A part of me knows that it was never about me, but another part of me is still holding onto that belief that I really am not good enough.

I recently picked up meditation a couple of months ago, and it has helped me be present and by being present I am able to let go of the past and the past hurt and false beliefs. But there’s this weird “comfort” of staying where I am mentally (even though it is severely messed up) and I think perhaps that’s also why I end up failing every time I try to pick myself up. I think it’s become so familiar to me–this feeling of inadequacy and need to escape–that now I can’t imagine NOT thinking this way, I don’t even know what that would be like. But I want to and I need to get out of this mental negativity. I read somewhere that bad habits are like a warm bed, that they are easy to slip back into but hard to get out of, and I feel like this need to escape and feeling of inadequacy are a lot like a bad habit.

I don’t know how to pull myself out.

And thank you again for your replies. They have really been incredibly insightful and helpful.

J

• This reply was modified 7 years, 9 months ago by J.