Dear Maria Cepeda:

You wrote: “He wants just the good part (of a relationship)” and that “as soon as things got hard he took again his position (to disengage from the relationship)”.

If by “things got hard” you mean, as examples, financial difficulties, you got sick with the flu, unemployment, or the baby cried at night and it was hard for him to stay up at night- then yes, he is unreasonable and selfish, too selfish to be loving… or reasonable.

But if “things got hard ” means, for example (this is only an example), that you unnecessarily argue with him, every day, starting fights instead of having calm conversations, if the home is a “war zone” for him, then he is reasonable when he said “why should (he) remain in it (in the relationship).

The woman he is involved with, you wrote that you are afraid that ” this woman knows how to make him happy” and that “he commits (to her) as he didn’t do with me”. Again, if you were unreasonably aggressive with him, arguing and fighting, and this new woman is peaceful with him, then he may commit to her.

When he asked you to move from his home, with the baby- I assume that was with the pre-arrangement of where you and the baby will live safely? And does he provide for the baby, treat the baby well?

anita