Dear perfect:

You wrote: “I have cut all contacts with him”- very good. Please keep no contact.

You wrote: “but I am afraid… will I ever get someone who will love me…I am scared of loneliness… why deep inside me, I am afraid and scared… is that normal?”

I am thinking that when you were a child, much younger than 13, and all through your childhood, you did not receive loving attention by your parents and you were alone a lot. It is scary for a child to be unloved and alone. Children need love no less than they need food. The fear you feel now is the same fear as then.

The solution to that fear, that loneliness, is not in reconnecting to that abusive man. The solution is not in reconnecting to any person in your life who was not there for you, parents included. The solution is to seek the company of people who are respectful and kind to you, and with those people only.

anita