I used to push things as well. It sounds like you’re doing well with it all. I guess the best thing to remember is the more you connect with the deepest parts of you during times like these and let those guide your decisions the better you will feel. Doesn’t mean it’s not hard. Doesn’t mean you can’t cry. Doesn’t mean you cant fear losing him. But, I think you’ll feel complete in a sense when you choose what’s best based on your values and from a loving state of mind.

I used to view life as a “everyone sees the world differently”…so what’s right? I felt like no choice was right because ever choice is right from a different perspective. So I would discount my own beliefs. And now I’ve learned that even if my beliefs are unreasonable, like the kind of guy I want in my life should kiss me on the forehead 5 times a day because that’s what I really want…it’s valid. I think where people can go wrong with this kind of thinking though, is that it comes from a mean or angry place. Like “he did this so f that…this is what i want”. I really believe now that a decision that comes from a compassionate state of mind….a compassionate one for your values and a loving one for the other party’s situation are the most wholesome ones.