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Replaying old patterns

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  • April 13, 2017 at 7:27 am #144861
    greenshade
    Participant

    Hey guys! Hope all of you are well. Has been a while since I have posted but have been around reading.

    I had been trying to build my self esteem in for the last 7-8 mths and things had been going well. For two months now am stuck in a downward spiral with my self esteem plummeting, causing me to withdraw from people, losing confidence at work ad because of that failing to follow through on projects I really care about. Recently, I also took all the blame for a situation on my own head whereas I and the other person had been equally at fault. Now I am angry at her for not taking responsibility for her own role in the situation, and at myself for not pointing out what her role in the situation was. I am also not able to express this anger to her. There are also other people at work who have been condescending and belittling me the past mth and I also feel unable to defend my self there. This further causes my self esteem to drop. I really want to run and start things somewhere new, but of course that is not solution and my patterns will follow me.

    What would you guys do in this situation?

    M

    April 13, 2017 at 10:04 am #144889
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear M:

    You can start by not being angry at yourself, and instead be gentle and loving toward yourself. Your difficulty in setting boundaries with people at work and otherwise, your taking responsibility for what you are not responsible for, these stem from a very difficult childhood where your home was a danger zone. So patient and gentle with yourself, congratulating yourself for every small step you take in the right direction and being kind to yourself when you struggle.

    anita

    April 13, 2017 at 10:51 pm #145011
    greenshade
    Participant

    Thanks for replying Anita!
    I sometimes feel as if awareness makes things worse, like I know I am accepting things and behaviors that are harmful to me, but I feel powerless to act in any other way. Its also been a difficult couple of months in terms of things that I had invested in seem to be falling apart and thats leading me to question my self worth, and making it more difficult to maintain boundaries.

    I guess its hard to always be mindful of where I’m coming from when other people also seem to point out my weaknesses with regards to boundary setting, being overly accommodating as reasons I wont be succeed in my goals.

    Take care!

    M

     

     

    April 14, 2017 at 9:43 am #145055
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear M:

    You are welcome. Focus then not on your weaknesses, but on your strengths. You do have those! Congratulate yourself for every positive move you make, every little success. Do this every day…?

    anita

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