Dear Angel:

I think you should set very clear boundaries with your mother.

You wrote: “she loves me and I love her dearly too… But it causes me so much grief.”- well, true love doesn’t lead to grief.

You asked: “Should I tell my boyfriend this?”- again, tell your mother first what needs to be said. Assert yourself with her.

Since your ex boyfriend moved on, is it not too late to get back together with him?

If you want to end your relationship with your present boyfriend, you can tell him that you still love your ex and that is why you are ending the relationship with him. But share only if you intend to end it. It will be unfair to him to burden him with this information while continuing a relationship with him. It is unfair to share this with him (unless in the context of definitely ending the relationship with him) because he can’t solve the problem for you: he can’t eliminate your feelings for your boyfriend, and he can’t fix your relationship with your mother.

anita