Dear Sam:

What I will write next is going to be difficult for you to read because it will not feel good, not if you take it in and consider it. This is why the Emotional Mind does not proceed as quickly as the Rational Mind: we don’t want to feel badly. Yet, it is for our benefit to consider what initially feels badly, because long term, we will feel better. What I write to you next, as everything I write to you, it is up to your consideration and evaluation:

The reason you felt not good enough as a child when you didn’t perform perfectly is because your parent/s taught you that you were not good enough unless you performed perfectly. And because it is impossible for a person (child or adult, including your parents!) to perform perfectly, what they taught you was:

You, Sam, are not good enough.

A child doesn’t come up with such core beliefs out of nowhere. Children are taught and parents always teach. Are they always aware of what they are teaching the child? No. But they teach nonetheless.

Not only do unaware parents teach, but while the child experiences distress, as a result of their teaching, they fail to notice the child’s distress, fail to evaluate their teachings and so, they fail to stop teaching what is causing the distress.

And so, parents keep teaching and keep reinforcing distressing teaching to a child who is already distressed, day in and day out, year after year.

If what I wrote above is distressing, please take a break and come back to it later, or not. Such is always, your choice.

* Soon to be away from the computer for a few hours.

anita