Dear Aks:

I understand why you are afraid to talk to your parents again- you are afraid because of their reaction last time you talked to them about your boyfriend. They cried and expressed their disapproval of you. It is understandable that you don’t want to experience that again.

The problem is you live in a society of arranged marriages, where many if not most parents don’t care for how their adult children feel regarding a potential husband, they only care that their choice will be done. If you manage to talk with them again, telling them, let’s say, that you love your boyfriend very much, that he is a good and loving man (and tell them how he is good and loving and therefore likely to make you happy), they may not care, just like they didn’t care the first time.

If they don’t care, reject your choice of a man to marry, and insist that you marry the man of their choosing, you have two choices: one is to obey your parents and marry the man of their choosing, suffer perhaps a loveless marriage, but enjoy the approval of your parents. The other choice is to marry the man of your choosing and suffer the disapproval of your parents, maybe their total rejection of you.

If you chose the second option, you will have to arrange your life in such a way that you are least affected by your parents’ rejection, maybe move far away, maybe be close to your chosen husband’s family so you have support there.

Hope you post again.

anita