Dear Aks:

You are in a very difficult situation. As children, we are greatly motivated to have our parents’ approval, to see our parents happy with us. As we become adults, we don’t just grow out of that motivation. Most of us are greatly invested, still, in having our parents’ approval, in seeing them happy with us. Seeing them crying, distressed because of who we are and what we do- that is something we fear.

Again, I think your boyfriend does not understand the difficulty in your situation, and that his expectations of you are unreasonable.

I do not support your parents in their position, nor do I support arranged marriages. But I am also very much aware that not all chosen marriages turn out well.

Do you think that your boyfriend is unreasonable this way? In other areas/ topics? Is he more emotional than he is logical/ reasonable overall?

anita