Dear Aks:

My concerns:

1. Previously you wrote: “He says that i should talk to them again..one last time..And if they again deny, just make a call to him..And he would come at my home and will take me with him..and according to him..if i will do this in front of my parents..they would get agree”- his plan is, as I understand it, that if your parents deny the marriage, you call him, he comes over, pretends to take you away from your parents’ home, and that will cause them to agree to the marriage. His plan may very well not work. I am concerned about the fact that he seems so sure that his plan will work. I am not at all sure.

2. You wrote previously: “he is too emotional..according to him..whatever your heart wants you should do…i am somewhat different from him..as per me..we have to use both our heart and brain as wel”- I am concerned that he is not capable of making good choices for you because he is too emotional. For example #1 above seems based on his emotion and not so much on logic.

3. “he says i have left him alone in his own house..his parents daily ask him about me… i feel this mental pressure”- I am concerned that he is being unfair to you, putting so much mental pressure on you. Telling you that his parents daily ask him about you is putting unnecessary pressure on you.

4. In your latest post you wrote: “(he) had so many affairs that time and he would never be loyal for you. she said that he tried on her also…i know he is kind of flirty guy”- a new concern, this input by your sister.

5. “As per her our parents know about all these stuffs about him so they would never be ready for this”- now I know that your parents disagree with the marriage not only because he is of a different caste but because he has a reputation of having multiple affairs and being flirty, still, with women. I agree with your sister, based on the information you provided here, that your parents will indeed deny the marriage. And that plan #1 is very unlikely to work.

If I was you, I wouldn’t even bother talking to my parents. If I was you, maybe I will suggest to the boyfriend that his parents talk to my parents (see if THEY have the courage to do so!)- it couldn’t hurt.

Another concern of mine: that your parents are hurrying up finding an arranged marriage for you so that you stop your involvement with your boyfriend.

Looking at everything so far, at this point, I am for suggesting to your boyfriend that his parents talk to your parents.

Please do post again soon.

anita