She and I are close for a personal reason. I met her on a free therapy site, she was my “therapist” per say. Listened to my past heartbreak and was there for me more than anyone ever was. I highly appreciate her friendship, caring for me even though we are miles apart, we still were there for each other cause she too had dealt with a heartbreak before we met. We stayed in touch everyday via text and it still continues.
I told her my feelings last year, I explained to her that I never was interested in LDR but I felt she has every right to know that I have fallen for her. I was not expecting her response to be “We could have a potential relationship in the future who knows”. I struggled with this answer cause I felt she was saying this to be kind to not hurt my feelings.
I’ve confronted her about my overthinking, anxiety and worries of her intensions toward me. She has told me a couple times she was not leading me on and she will never hurt me in anyway. She meant what she said, she wants to meet up with me. So I took her word for it. If that is what she feels then okay, however I have told her that we live separate lives, I cannot live on a fantasy so I must move on to keep our friendship. She agrees cause she isnt ready for a relationship with anyone since her abusive ex. Same with me too, my ex best friend took advantage of my love for her. It is very difficult to put myself through that again. I explain to her: no matter whom I’m interested in I only want friendship first and slowly ease into a relationship.
She understands this, she truly does care for me deeply. It’s just difficult cause we are so close and so much alike I can not help to hold on to that hope even though I know I must let go of that fantasy.
I cant move on until I know who we are in person. Everyday I am working hard, saving money and counting the days till I get to visit her.