Dear Franny:

My thoughts: I agree with your statement in your recent post, that “there is no wrong and right with (some) issues”- it is a matter of personal preference, how much time a person needs to spend with a boyfriend/girlfriend and how much talking and sharing there is to be.

You wrote: “he thinks I invaded into his life too much and too often that sometimes oversharing happens”- but you wrote in your original post that sometimes you see him once a month only. Otherwise, once a week is the most you can get to see him, if I read correctly. So he means once a month or at best once a week is “too much and too often”? (Or does he mean on text/ phone?)

If he means that once a month or a week of getting together is too much in the context of a boyfriend/ girlfriend relationship, and not because of an issue of physical distance- then I think he is a rare case, especially for a young man. This is your first relationship, and as a young woman, it is understandable to me that you would want to see your boyfriend a few times a week, for various length of time, depending on schedule.

You asked: “is there anything wrong with couples not saying ‘I love you’ to each other? Or not flirting with each other?”- it is not wrong if this is satisfactory for the two people in the relationship, but I would say it would be a very rare exception if two young people are satisfied with such a relationship.

You wrote: “Because we are definitely behaving like two very good friends”- this may be what the two of you are. Maybe you should change the title of your relationship and fit all the ingredients of it to the context of friends, not boyfriend-girlfriend…?

anita