Hello Eliana and Anita

Thank you very much for your feedback, I agree with karma. It’s interesting to see how the tables turn. I wonder if it would ever happen to us.

I am experiencing PMS now and it’s really messing my mind up. Thoughts, emotions, and feelings are all over my head. They lead me to the hope of getting back together with my ex, they remind me of good times we once had, and they also lead me to doubts, desperation,  depression and anger.

Fortunately, I can start seeing things better than I used to. One of the reasons why I wasn’t happy with my ex was the fact that he criticized a lot. I never heard him giving compliments to anyone but me and himself. He would constantly talk about how disgusting the food was when we ate out,  how people tried to take advantage of him, how people created drama for him, how fake and talkative people were when all they did was being nice/polite to him, how bitchy his exs were, how good he was but never got appreciated, etc.

He didn’t seem to trust anyone. I don’t think he’s a happy person and am feeling kinda sad for him just by thinking about this. Sometimes my friends would invite me and him to different occasions, he would either go with me and have a lot of complaints afterwards, or name all kinds of reasons (usually negative) to talk me into changing my mind to cancel the plan in the last minute.

I believe his still has kindness and a good heart, but somehow they are buried too deep. It feels like there’s a tough shield all around a kind and playful little boy. He was so difficult to reach, because I could tell how he escaped from it when the conversation got too deep. I loved him a lot but never really tried to help him because I myself was also afraid of getting hurt by his rejections. And that’s my regret – not being able to help the person I loved.

I miss him so much and really hope that he finds his own peace within and gets to trust people again.