Dear Adrienne:

How to make peace with the situation that has been eating you up is the question then. I would entertain the thought that you will not get back the rest of the loan, meditate on that thought as you take deep breaths, maybe listen to relaxing music as you do, or think it during a walk in nature, or such.

Accept this possibility best you can, that the money is gone. Accept best you can the lack of fairness and justice of it, and extend your acceptance to the lack of fairness and justice in life everywhere and everywhere- there is so much of it, and regarding almost all of it, there is nothing you can do.

Then decide on future interactions with those people. You may decide to not be in their physical presence and have no contact with them outside the loan issue (following up on repayment) unless they pay.

I imagine being in their presence is going to be very difficult and unfair to you, if you are to pretend that everything is fine. You still have this choice available to you, this little piece of fairness- to decide to be in contact with them or not.

You can also choose to sit with your husband and come up with a very specific plan about following up  on repayment, so that you are no longer in an awkward position. Decide on: are we going to follow up on repayment as a couple or are we not, yes or no, instead of what reads to me like a Maybe coming from your husband.

anita