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Reply To: Dating a Man w/ a Son and Difficult Ex

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#169783
Anonymous
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Dear Little Coconut:

The key sentence in your share, for me, is this: “I’m afraid of bringing stuff like this up without hurting my boyfriend’s feelings”-

I think the relationship is likely to deteriorate and end if you do not bring stuff like this up with him. And you did state: “I want us to be forever”-

Got to talk to him, if you want this relationship to improve. As unpleasant it feels to bring certain topics up, it is not only for your benefit that you do, but it is also for his benefit and his child’s. Bring up all topics (pace yourself, of course)- everything that bothers you.

Do so responsibly, not blaming him but taking responsibility for your feelings. You can’t help feeling what you feel, so there is no guilt in feeling. You are not a bad person for feeling this or that. When you share a feeling with him that is unpleasant for you to experience and to share with him, see how he responds. Depending on his response and what develops in the conversation, you might very well be very surprised how better you feel, and how clearer things become for you.

The questions you asked here, discuss those with him.

anita