Dear iznogud:

About you having done “some stupid things in past …bcs i wanted attention , stupid once … but i made them and cover them so actually people didn’t know”, about those things you did, in Paris, before and after:

Every person on the face of this earth, including me, has done some stupid things, and many people regret having done those things. So to your question in this regard, “am i normal ????? “- definitely yes, you are normal.

Once you forgive yourself, you remove the pain of shame from those memories and you feel lighter, freer from that extra pain of shame. Your thinking will get better, not confused… your mental health will improve.

We humans do lots of “stupid things” when we have the wrong information about life and people and we want to feel good and we don’t know how. So we get desperate and do… stupid things.

When you grow up in distress, with your family as you described them, you can’t go out into the world, into Paris, away from your family and expect this change of location to make magical changes in your mind and life. You bring with you to Paris what you learned at home, in your hometown.

For example, if at home you learned that you have to always do what your mother said you should do, to obey her no matter how bad it is for you, then in Paris you might obey anyone, a stranger, and do things that are harmful to you, that make you feel badly. In this example, you learned the wrong thing at home: to obey without question, and you practiced what you learned in Paris: to obey without question.

Healing and change is about re-learning. In my example, re-learning to not obey, to think before acting, to evaluate: is doing this or that good/helpful to me or bad/harmful to me? If it is harmful to you, you choose to not do that particular thing.

What do you think about what I wrote here to you?

anita