Dear Mina:

I just lost a very detailed response with quotes and analysis. Too bad. I will summarize it here:

In the conversation you initiated thanking him five times, profusely thanking him. He thanked you three times, once following you congratulating him and twice following your thanking him. You apologized to him five times or so as well. He did not apologize to you. You expressed a heavy heart to him, expressing regret and worry for him. He expressed light heartedness, supplemented with “hahaha”.

It reads to me that following the breakup, you were very occupied with thoughts and feelings about him and the relationship but he was not. And so, I agree with your conclusion that following the breakup, this has been a “one way relationship that I have been doing all these time by myself”.

Regarding the profuse thanking him (in this conversation and the birthday wishing one) and profuse apologizing, these indicate to me that you present yourself to him as unworthy of him. This kind of positioning of yourself to him, as his inferior, is not to my liking.

I suggested to you yesterday that contacting him “will be more of Reality for you”, and indeed you wrote last: “now I feel more content. Because this time, it is real”- we do feel content when our thinking fits reality.

anita