Dear Jean:

I re-read the last paragraph of your original post. What you quoted, what you texted him, does not read to me like an outburst at all, negative or otherwise. It was a fair, assertive, valid statement. It was not aggressive or unreasonable. So there is nothing you did wrong and it will not be right for you to apologize.

His response, “goodnight”, was dismissive of you. He was wrong, unloving, uncaring to respond this way and not to correct himself since that response.

It was not right of him, after four weekends of being unavailable to you, to then talk about spending two days during the coming weekend together and then to cancel. And he canceled not because of an illness, a child’s illness, or some emergency, but so to spend time with the guys.

He was in the wrong- as a boyfriend, as a supposedly caring boyfriend. The fact that you experienced strong distressing feelings as a result is not an indication that you were in the wrong, neither is his “goodnight” dismissive response.

I wish I could be helpful. Unfortunately, the way I see it, now more than in my last post to you, he is an inadequate boyfriend.

anita