Dear Shy,

I was quite moved by your post, so much so that this is actually my first comment ever on one of these threads. I think it’s perfectly healthy to question your feelings towards your bf, if there’s one thing i’ve learned in my 25 years on this earth it’s that feelings change all the time.

What we need in one phase of our lives isn’t necessarily what we need in the next phase, and that’s completely normal and healthy. It has nothing to do with your boyfriend whom you described as “perfect” and not matter how sincerely you mean that I seriously question that. No one is perfect, and therefore no one can be perfect for ever – what he can be however is perfect for right now. With all the upheavals in your life recently it’s perfectly logical that your mind is questioning things you have otherwise taken for granted, my belief is that it is your mind trying to assess what it wants and needs out of this next phase. I would encourage you to pursue these thoughts in a judgement free way – maybe some of these anxieties are based in your relationship, maybe they aren’t, check in with yourself and be honest about what you need.

If you find that the shine on your bf is wearing off that’s not a commentary on either of you – you’re 20, it’s ok to change who you want to be and what you want. Nothing is forever, enjoy things as they are, but be true to yourself first :).

Hope you have a great day!