Dear Monica:

You are welcome. Regarding “It means you don’t have hidden agendas, that you state your motives honestly, clearly”- I was thinking particularly about the (former?) male friend you had, the one that took you to the airport, the one who had a crush on you, who spent some money on you when getting together, who you thought viewed you as a “pretty face”.

I think that your expressed agenda/ motivation for the association with him was friendship (you referred to him as a “best friend”), but the hidden agenda was to feel attended to/ admired/wanted.

Regarding “I realise that all I need was to call someone to get me out. Anyone.”- I am glad you are out of the elevator. Regarding getting out of the building, I hope you don’t call just “Anyone” for help, that you are selective about who you interact with and about the kind of interaction. Not everyone will help you when you need help; some will help themselves at your expense. Again, it is the win-win that is the way to go about interacting with people: honest expressed agendas.

You experienced a tough time and the tough time is not over, except that there is significant improvement. Don’t expect perfection. You wrote that you are not in heaven anymore but not in hell, not being in either one of those, you are in Reality.

Make life as simple and as calm as you can make it. When distressed take one step at a time, one moment at a time, looking ahead just to that next moment, not far ahead into the future.

anita