Dear Anita, I guess yes to your first question. I need her so badly and I do not want to be feeling this way. The only two ways to decrease this feeling, in my opinion, are – (1) she comes back to me (2) I change my feelings towards her somehow. I do not think that (1) is plausible. So, I am left with just trying to change what I think of her.

And I am glad you asked me the second question. It has happened twice in my life before. One about 8 years ago when I broke off with my gf at that time and she was getting married (much similar to what is happening now). I felt pretty similar to what I am feeling now. Then later once again, the same events occurred. I broke off both those times. And I am the one breaking it off this time as well, and suffering the same fate – almost identical feeling. But this time, I am turning 30 and the I believe I will not get another chance since I already messed up thrice as of now. Perhaps, I’m just plain old dumb who can’t make a decision on time.