[VERY IMPORTANT UPDATE]

I just talked to my mother, because my head was hurting so bad from all the stress.

I was in a “distress” mode, so maybe that was why my head hurt so much.

I asked for her permission to go see a psychiatrist when I go back home next week, I was very skeptic about it. I have mentioned that there are a lot of stigmas regarding mental illnesses here in Asia,

so a lot of parents won’t allow their children to go see such doctors.

One of my best friend, Patricia, suffered from depression as well … but her parents are simply hell to her.

Her parents does not allow her to go see a psychiatrist because it is embarrassing for the family, her father is a misogynist that treated her brother like a prince while she is being treat like trash, I realise that her situation is 100x worse than mine.

I still at least have my parents with me.

I was wrong about them, I doubted and assume that they won’t understand me ever but I was wrong.

My mother opened up to me that during her 20s, she was also depressed and got treated by a psychiatrist.

I was … very surprised. My mother seems stable, seems always happy, and she is certainly not the type to “embarrass” the family by seeing a psychiatrist, especially during 1990s, when it was negatively stigmatised.

My mother must have had a very very hard time, just like I am right now.

Comparing my situation to Patrice, I should never ever complain … I feel so overwhelmed that I cried.

Patrice, just like how I was, is current living in a delusion.

She hates her own father, but claims that she wants to be like her mom when she grew up.

But from her story, her mother is far from supportive,

She expressed her desire to move college, she got rejected. Her mother does not even listen. Her brother asked to change college, and her parents immediately reacted to it.

Her parents always blame her for her brothers mistake as well.

Even when she expressed how she is depressed, her parents again does not listen.

Refuses to understand. Refused to even let her go see a doctor and get proper treatment.

I want to help her so badly, Anita.

How hell her life must be right now.

-Monica