I don’t know, maybe he has? I just feel like I could have handled things a lot differently and that’s where the regret from my part comes from.  Anita is right.. I did project past insecuritys on to him when he never gave me any reason to doubt him. He was a good man and treated me with respect and care apart from the episodes in which I triggered him. I did not do this intentionally and have learned my lesson from this. I feel guilt for doing that to him and causing him to loose his compure completely and turn into someone he is not. He hates himself for reacting like that and feels as if he cannot be around me now as he doesn’t want to be that way .