Dear Eliana,

I sort of know what she’s going through. We just got off the phone now. She said to me that she will not be able to handle moving away from me, but tht she must. And then I said to her to not move and come back to me. But she goes, “I asked you so many times, and you did not realize, now it is too late. It hurts but I cannot step back.” So, in order to save her family’s dignity, she won’t step back, even though she wants to. If she were born to a different family, perhaps a more progressive family, she would have come back to me because she told me that the other guy will not be able to measure up to me in any way.

So, in a way, I do understand her pain too. She isn’t happy either. And that hurts even more because I never let her cry in the years that I have known her. I took away all her pain, but now she feels all alone without me, even though she has a guy in her life.

Funny, but she is seeking my advice on some of the problems she is encountering in her new relationship. We had a long phone call this morning where she is basically seeking my help in making her new relationship better. And I’m giving her suggestions in improving her new relationship and simultaneously putting myself through more misery and pain. Why am I doing this? I want her to be happy but I know that in giving her happiness, I’m giving myself more pain. I do not know what I’m doing!