Ahhhhhhh! okay ok ok lol Great dialogue 🙂 haha

Yea I have a friend who works with kids in crisis management in a school she has said that about him too. Like he may have a mental issue he needs to come to terms with before he starts seeing things in a better light than he obviously does.

I still cant place what it is exactly though, some type of Anger Management, Bipolar..Depression..Narcissism. Idk.

I can see what you mean though about not liking himself. He is very self conscious. Yet very full of himself at the same time; I guess I could say very confident in his abilites. Kind of like I am lol (cuz we are alike) Sometimes I forget because he’s so great to me that he has issues just like everyone else.

Like his weight bothers him. But to me he literally is regular size person who just put on a little weight. Hes 6’1″ no stomach or anything crazy. He carries is so unnoticeable. I can see he internalizes it tho. Like he doesn’t walk around with no shirt on. I can actually say I have seen him with no shirt on maybe 5 times. But we have sex though…I don’t say anything but maybe I should because I used to do that when I first started having sex and I was uncomfortable with my body and things like that. My boyfriend that forgot my birthday a few years back had to break me of that. Like it literally almost ruined our relationship and then John solidified that wont be tolerated either lol. Like I see what you look like. That doesn’t matter. What matters more is that you’re making me feel like your not comfortable around me. That made sense to me, it freed me from that self consciousness that had plagued me for so long. But at the same time I don’t say anything because I don’t want to pressure him because I KNOW why I did it and I understand.

Or this I want to say; NEED to feel special.  You said it right about the comparison to Jimmy. Not necessarily him in the example but that is something that bothers him. If I do something for someone else that I may do for him too. That kind of stuff irritates him because he says that makes him feel regular.

Also another thing is he’s one of those people who take pride in that “I don’t need anyone, I don’t need friends” mentality. Or the “I dont tell people my business, I dont tell people my flaws”

When to me that’s actually a hindrance of growth because if you don’t have value of other people in your life that means you don’t value their opinions and thoughts. So with him not having friends I think that’s why he thinks he knows everything and everything he does is right because there no one there saying otherwise.

When I had character flaws that made me not so appealing my friends would tell me that and over time I have realized and incorporated that into my growth as an adult. Like listening, or not cutting people off, or seeing that my perspective is not the only one, or not jumping to conclusions, getting angry first/ finding out what really happened second.

Literally in typing this I just realized, I have only met 2 other people who know him and never conversed with either. I have met his mother in passing and his younger (16) brother getting dropped off somewhere.

He’s met my Mom, soon to be step dad, brother, aunt, uncle, and 1,2,3,4,5 of my cousins, and my best friends L,N,A,and J lol

Is that weird??

“Regarding being submerged, being Glenn’s number one priority, if that is what you meant,  my thought is that the reactivation of I-am-treated-as-less-than neuropathway will keep him focused on you as  his #1 focus and number one source of triggered annoyance, but it is not the same  of making you his number #1  priority.”  THIS IS A GREAT POINT as well

And I already do walk on egg shells honestly. Border lining pins and needles because it doesn’t hurt yet but it does cause me anxiety sometimes. One of my closest friends said even though Glen is probably as far as ‘points of a person goes’ the best guy I have been with.. She could tell I felt “more free” when I was with John.

Right now hes working A LOT! I don’t know what point hes trying to make to me exactly though:

1. If we not together I am good regardless

2. Ok, you want me to leave…I’ll give you so much space it’ll be like I left but didn’t actually leave

3. Realize he needs to focus on something other than me (which I am ok with) because so do I.

Who knows.