Dear mick:
Good looks is just one thing about a person. There is more to a person than looks. I think that the most important thing in a relationship is trust, honesty, respect, empathy, kindness.
If, for example, your ex’s new boyfriend is less good looking than you but is way more honest with her than you were, then he is not “an apparent downgrade” in my mind, but instead, he is … an upgrade.
anita