Dear Tricia, Thanks for your reply! I do think it has to do about me, and about me feeling better and getting out of that lifestyle. As I said I too took drugs for about 8 years and have been clean for 2. I feel this rebel phase is over and I have already lived this chapter of my life, and now doubting on sharing it with someone I love but hasn’t. I get angry because, as you said, maybe a part of me wants to be a part of that again but know its not something I am anymore either. I know all persons help to reflect things about ourselves and this might be my lesson here. But not because of that it means the relationship will work in the end.

Anita – thanks for your reply too. I guess it is better! It is better to leave than to cause both of us stress and suffering since I’ve tried but I definitely have not been able to accept his drug use.

Buddi – I know! This has been a major topic of conversation, I would not want my kids to be around this, and seeing his lack of will to give it up is not a good sign or guarantee that even with children he might change… Sometimes Im not sure if its a boundary / deal breaker for me or a lesson to become tolerant and learn acceptance of where people are in their lives and love unconditionally…