Thanks Anita for you input and thoughts!

I especially agree with the second saying: “You don’t trust that you are able to evaluate him correctly”. Because there only has been one occasion of his disloyalty and he seems very attached to me, very scared to lose me. But since I’ve grown older I have been confronted by the reality that people/partners will lie to protect themselves or to get something out of you. So whenever I feel “weird”. I start thinking: is he lying? But I can’t evaluate it correctly, is it just a feeling? Do I have a reason? Am I overreacting?

“You don’t trust that his behavior is more than a … consequence of your wrongness”

I’m not sure.. we’ve had so many issues already that I can’t tell if this just is who he is as a person. Or I bring out the anxiety, insecurity out?

About the living together. If I’m honest, it still seems like a good idea (I know it sounds weird). But my home can be very chaotic, my parents fight a lot, they have a big impact on me and not always in a good way. And also living together to me is kind of “a last resort”. Either it’ll do us good or it will make it clear that my boyfriend and I are not meant to be in the long run. It feels as if it would give me some clarity if I really want to continue this relationship.

About calling the other girl “nothing” I agree. I told him as well that I thought this was a very mean and cruel thing to say. Especially since he did care and She had some serious butterflies for her. I always wonder if he’s projecting. When we first got together he didn’t have anything nice to say about his ex either. I don’t mean things like: she hurt me, she played with my feelings. That’s normal I think but things about their sex life, about her appearance, her lifegoals. Which annoys me because it means if we ever break-up he’ll do the same and tell my dirty laundry to everyone.

And the weird thing is, last week when he told some story about a friend who had gone to her birthday party, you know some gossip. I’m not sure what it was about but I replied with something like: Oh well it’s not like your rship was that serious, from what you’ve told. And he got SO defensive about this and snapped at me with: You don’t know anything, you weren’t there.

He confuses me so much sometimes. He is so sweet and gentle, always telling me I’m the love of his life, wanting to be with me every second of the day. Buying me flowers, treating me like a queen. But it’s like he has this dark side that I don’t really like.