Dear Buddha Buddy:

I am glad you are back, and with what I believe is a poem. I like poems. I would like to enjoy it and respond with some thoughts.

Title: I can’t move.

“My heart anchors me down-Pulling me-Just trying not to drown-Still seeing-I just can’t interact-My mind racing-Right off the friggin track-Just floating-To focus on breathing-What’s my move-Gotta keep believing-Slow my brain-To come up with a plan-So much pain-Shut up and be a man-So get mad-Be your own biggest fan-What you had-Is part of some dumb plan-Hold your breath-And rip your heart right out-It’s only death-That’s what life’s all about”

My thoughts: the often tragic consequence of gender roles, here, the male gender role: “So much pain-Shut up and be a man-So get mad”, perfectly stated. It is not a socially acceptable role for a man to feel pain or express pain. A man… is supposed to not feel pain and not express it. On the other hand, anger is what is acceptable for a man.

Thing is a man feels pain the same way as he did as a boy, the same way a woman feels pain, the same way any human of any age feels pain. But men are made to feel ashamed for feeling pain and even more so, feel ashamed for expressing pain. And so… many men try not to. That brings un-wellness to a lot of men.

On the other hand, it is socially acceptable for women to feel pain and express pain but not to feel or express anger. Even though women feel anger the same way and no less than men.

Other thoughts: the mind racing, the floating feeling- anxiety, trying not to drown-despair. Got to come up with a plan- to not drown, to get up and get on, to form a better plan, perhaps, to replace the one you referred to as dumb. That would be an improved plan, a wiser plan for a better life.

anita