Dear Jay:

You are welcome and thank you for your kind words as expressed in the last paragraph of your recent post.

You wrote that your parents told you “that I can accomplish anything I put my mind to”. I hear people saying this statement, in these or similar words, a whole lot. This is often stated, by many people: you can do anything you set your mind to, etc.

Although it is true that many people think they cannot do this or that and then find out that they can, it is not true that a person can do anything they put their mind to. It is simply not true.

For example, you can set your mind to wave your arms in the air and fly. Try as you will, you can not fly. Birds can. You can’t. Set your mind of this goal as hard as you will and you can’t.

The problem in believing something that is not true to reality is that we are misguided and we suffer.

Let’s look at your experience: your aim was to be accepted to medical school A. You put your mind to it, did the research, meditated, hired a consultant, etc. And you failed.

Here is the unrealistic part of the experience: you didn’t fail because you didn’t put your mind to it well enough. You put your mind to it very well, very hard. As a matter of fact you are still putting your mind into school A retroactively, not realizing that ship has sailed.

It is not that you failed school A interview because you didn’t put your mind to it well enough. I believe you failed because you suffered then and still suffer from too much anxiety, too much ongoing fear.

For as long as you suffer from too much anxiety, medical school, like flying, may very well be something you can not do.

Maybe someday you will be able to do it, but not for as long as you are this anxious.

The question the interviewer in school A asked you reads reasonable to me. He told you he already has the information you were telling him and asked you to answer his question. The way you responded to him revealed to him, I am thinking, that indeed you are too anxious to be a promising candidate to medical school. One requirement for the school is to be able to endure lots of distress and you were not promising in that regard.

A profession that is involved with way less distress may very well be much more suitable to you.

Again, one day it is possible that you will be suited to medical school. Maybe sooner than later. But that day has to do not with putting your mind to it better but healing and managing your anxiety.

anita