I provided hands on care for my siblings until I left home.  I got up with babies at night, changed diapers, cooked, cleaned, babysat, did laundry… as they got older I went to their “parent” orientations.  I was available for problem-solving and phone calls, and visits.  My sister is very angry that I have set the boundary and pulled away.  She said she misses when I would try to talk her out of these relationships because it made her feel “supported.”  I told her that I had realized it was pathological for me to play this role.  She is a grown woman and able to make her own choices.  If she seeks my advice I could share perspective with her, but I’m not going to continually argue with her or try to convince her she is making poor choices.  She was upset when I said this.  She refuses to believe I have pulled away bc she has chosen a pedophile. She says there must be another reason.  When she arrived in my city she expected me to cook and clean for her and for us to go to get our nails done together.  I work full time and I have a husband and two busy children.  She seemed jealous of my children and was often unkind to them.  I realized I could not leave her alone with them because she would lie when they were hurt and she seemed mean to them.