Hi Anita

I apologise for the delayed response.

One day my family was sat in the lounge with my ex. We were discussing the wedding and my mother had said something about what she didn’t agree with but still went along with considering that’s what my ex wanted. And he was shocked because I didn’t inform him about it. He was really upset and he wanted a promise that whenever my family is unhappy about anything, I will tell him what they have to say. And I promised him that and I kept to it by telling him what they had to say.

I do not see anything wrong in telling him what they had to say. I could have lied and told him that they are okay and we can go along with everything. And at another sit down, if certain things are said, he was going to look at me as a liar and I did not want that.

My brother pointed out things, things that I was aware of, things that I understood. They assumed I was blind and being manipulated. When I tried to explain to my family, they shut me down and said that I was only making excuses for him which was not the case.

My family isn’t perfect. There’s good days and there are really bad days. Everyone has their own personality. So my ex’s reaction and behaviour, I accepted it as him being different. I accepted his flaws and loved him as a whole. He made efforts for me. Efforts such as being more talkative amongst my family, when it came to his family, he shouldn’t hug them but when it came to my family, he hugged them. He was a reserved man and I know doing that, must have taken a lot.