Home→Forums→Tough Times→I am at my lowest
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June 25, 2018 at 7:23 pm #214141RechParticipant
Hey, I dont know if this is gona help but m in real need of help. I am going through a tough time where nothinh is working out for me I I dont have a place to stay I finalized a place twice and just before me moving somethng happened this would be my 5th move in a year of me coming out of my country for my Masters and its not only that since a year I have not been able to make frnds people just hate me and I dont even know why they just instantly start hating me I dont have anyone to talk to where I am righy now I just had my boyfrnd here in this new country. We were in a relationship for 10years and we were going to tell our parents this year but thngs started to fall apart I got to know hes vacationing very near to my place so I told him that I am at my worst and I need you please visit me you are so close to my place he said not now sometime later I said but now is when m low and I need you he said he needs his frnds and he will not come that was a heart break for me he was the only person I had he was the only family I had here and suddenly he tells me he will not come when I need him the most he gave me reasons like his tickets are from another place and he cant come here and he said he dsnt like where m staying he gave such reasons to my desperate need of him. He has done a lot for me last year he has been with me when noone was and we have been in love fr 10years but I can see thngs falling apart and what happened today just tells me that I need to stop asking for attention a no means a no. I am really at a bad place right now because I have realised that may be he is not the one I mean noone wud do that if he loved you. I am not ale to come to terms with that we need to go our seperate ways. I dont even knwi if thats the right thng to do m in a lot of stress right now cos of office and no place and no ppl to talk to, I dont know what to do. Please tell me if I need to move on if I need to break up with him or not? What is the right thing to do? He has been with me through out but that dsnt mean that its okay to leave someone at their worst when shes asking fr hour help. He says he dsnt wana end the relationship and he says sorry and says that he did wrong but is he right for me? Please tell me should I continue or move on?
June 26, 2018 at 2:47 am #214177AnonymousGuestDear Rech:
You wrote that you live in a different country for your Masters. You don’t have a place to stay, will be your 5th move in a year, didn’t make friends, “people just hate me and I don’t even know why they just instantly start hating me”. You have a boyfriend with whom you had a relationship for ten years but he wouldn’t visit you “when I need him the most”. Therefore you are considering ending the relationship.
You wrote that you are “in a lot of stress right now (because) of office and no place and no people to talk to”. You are asking if you should break up with him.
My answer: it is not the right time to break up with him. It is not the right time to make any decisions you don’t have to make at this time. You are understandably distressed and we can’t think clearly when distressed. Got to take care of a few things first, find a place to live, that must be first priority. Focus on that. Relax best you can.
If you asked or maybe demanded a whole lot from your boyfriend this past year, it is understandable that he doesn’t rush to you one more time. He may be a good man who loves you but cannot help you more than he helped you already.
When distressed, maybe you can take a fast walk outside, release some of the distress, then come back to the business at hand, finding a place to move to and other necessary tasks of the day.
I hope you post again. I would like to read more from you.
anita
June 26, 2018 at 8:48 am #214251RobertaParticipantIam not sure how to explain myself.My boyfriend of 8 years has been acting alittle wierd.Maybe its me i have a very difficult time trusting him with this roomate of ours 15 years ago they were roomates and ended up sleeping together a few times he had toldme about her prior to us being a couple,He says they are just friends and thats all there is going on butmy gut is saying tome something else.Like we live in a fairly big house approx 4 thousand sq ft we live on one side she lives on the other but we allshare a bathroom when he goes to take a shower he stays way longer then i would if iwere a man men are in and out you know what iam sayin lol.He then comes back tothe room red and alittle cold shoulder tome thats what i think anyways he says your crazy he has never gave me any reason not to trst him oh have i mentioned shes ten years older then us we arein our 50s shes in her 60s, and to top it all off shes not attractive at all ugly if i were looking at a mans point of view iam not saying this to be mean iam pretty and i get looked at all the time and flitered with on a daily bases how can i have faith and trust him when he does alot around the yard for her etc am i looseing my mind or is he playing with my head. He loves women and finds women sexy he loves sex never has turned me down but do you think he is getting oral sex or sex from her or am ijust trippin on him because he keeps telling my baby ilove younot anyone else yourpushing me away stop it already what should i do lonely and confused
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