Home→Forums→Share Your Truth→Don’t ask if, ask when
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July 3, 2018 at 4:54 am #215229NevilleParticipant
Are you getting what you want out of your relationship? Are you giving what is needed in the relationship? Are you asking if, or are you asking when, in your relationship?
Let me illustrate :The world we live in belongs to the Have’s and not to the Have Nots. Rightly or wrongly, the top 1% in the USA own 35% of the wealth of the country and the top 10% own 73% of the wealth.
I don’t, at this juncture, want to discuss the merits or demerits of that fact and the system that created it and the likely outcome of such imbalance but instead attempt to determine if there is an overriding factor that placed that wealth in those hands.
Sure we can talk about the genius of picking wealthy parents, or “the Lucky Sperm Club” as they are also known. We can find all the ‘usual suspects’ of focus, determination, perseverance and many other factors I identify in my free book, Achieving your Goals and Dreams found on my website, personalempowerment.co
But I believe there is one underlying factor making that difference. The difference between wanting something and getting what you want- whether it is in your relationship or any other area of your life.
In sales, they teach you ABC, Always Be Closing. I call it “asking for the order”, and I believe that is the one factor above all others that separates the Have’s from the Have Nots.
Among the Have Nots there will be talented and competent people, on paper, far better equipped to be successful that some of the Have’s but they haven’t been able to cross that threshold into the Have’s territory.
In my free book, How to be a Great Negotiator- The Art of Great Negotiation starts here, also found on my website personalempowerment.co I define that one factor as “you don’t get what you are entitled to, you get what you negotiate”.
And that is the difference in having a successful relationship, and a successful anything else, that enables you to achieve what you desire.
Don’t ask if, ask when.
Don’t ask if you will put your phone down and look at me and talk to me, ask when will you put your phone down and look at me and talk to me.
Don’t ask if you will come out with me on a date, ask when will you come out with me on a date.
Don’t ask if you will marry me, ask when will you marry me.
Don’t ask if you will give me an increase in salary, ask when will you give me an increase in salary.
Don’t ask if you will stop interfering in my life, ask when will you stop interfering in my life.
Don’t ask if we are getting a puppy, ask when we are getting a puppy.
Don’t ask if we are having a child, ask when are we having a child.
Have the self- confidence to cross the threshold into the territory of the Have’s and “ask for the order”. What’s the worst that can happen if they reject you and can you live with that as an option?
Now bring that attitude into your relationship and stop compromising to keep the peace while eating away at your insides in frustration. Bring it out into the open, “ask for the order” and be prepared to pack your bags and move on and find someone who deserves you, not someone you have to compromise with all the time to keep the peace.
Don’t ask if, ask when!
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