I’ve been with my one and only boyfriend for 4.5 years. We’ve been together since we were both 15. The first year of our relationship is when he hurt me so many times. He cheated on me(went to a girls house and kissed), dumped me for a girl, and told a girl he was interested in her while dating me. I found out he cheated on me a year after it hapenned because he came to me crying from the guilt of hiding it so long.  So before I ever found out he cheated on me he broke up with me for someone else bc I was scared of comitting- so I almost can’t blame him but it still hurt. But when we got back together shortly after a few months in he admitted To me e had feelings for his friend as that he had told her. We worked through it bc he said loved me and didn’t want her, that he only liked her. I’m his own free will and his idea he decided to stop talking to her. I in no way suggested or even thought of it. All of this stuff happened the jest year of dating. The last 3.5 years have been completely amazing and I’m happy with him and he treats me like a queen. But I’m always insecure ever since all that stuff- especially the cheating. Ever since he told me he cheated on me I have never been able to trust him. I still so to this day. And I see it gets him so much. He still cries to this day for all that he did to me. He always beats himself up about it and hates himself. All I want is to trust him but Idk how to. I feel like I’m literally incapable of doing so. Any advice to learn to trust? Bc my trust in him is as broken as If he had just cheated on me. I never accuse him or voice my insecurities bc I don’t want to let my trust issues ruin a great relationship but idk how to fix it.