Margarita,

Thank you for your reply. It is touching and I hope that you can progress to happiness. I know you feel lost and shameful, but I do not judge you at all. You are human.

Mark,

I’ve talked about my issues in my other threads, but it stems mostly from molestation by a family member as a child, domestic violence, mental illness such as depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, and unhealthy behaviors caused by abuse. At this point, I am so bogged down by trauma as well as shame of my own actions when I was young, that I really don’t know what to do anymore. Therapy doesn’t seem to work, nor medication. OCD makes me feel paranoid and delusional, like I’m the worse person alive. My age is 23, my father was abusive, the girl I like doesn’t seem to care about me anymore, I’m about to have my last semester of college, and I don’t currently work/live with my parents, feel like a burden. I don’t want to live.

Anita,

It means a lot that you think I’m capable of healing. For sure, I’ve learned from my past mistakes. But they’re still there, I think, because my mental illness makes sure I remember and antagonize myself about them. I know I’m young, but I feel old and worn out and like I’ve already ruined my life, that there’s no point now. I realize there’s nothing technically anyone can do about it, but I just don’t understand how I can really help myself if therapy and medication aren’t working. I feel stunted and alone and overwhelmed.