Dear Azalia:

I don’t think further confessions are a good idea. It will hurt him and not help you, so what would be the point. About your guilt, that is something best you talk about in psychotherapy, if such is an option for you, talking about it in the safety of therapy sessions with an empathetic and capable therapist.

You can also express that guilt right here, if you feel comfortable doing so. Members are most often supportive. I assure you that I will be supportive if you share more.

You use the word confession, as if you are a sinner and he is an authority on sin and virtue. He is a good man, I understand, and that is wonderful. But you read like a good woman yourself. A good woman who feels bad.

If you choose to share here, please do. I am suggesting that not without some concern, but if therapy is not an option for you, and if you don’t have someone safe and empathetic to talk to in person otherwise, sharing here and being “listened to” respectfully and empathetically here, may help you.

anita