Dear ME:

I read some about HCM in medline plus and in Wikipedia (a long entry there). It is clear then that strenuous physical activity is to be avoided, correct? And I suppose, keeping your life as calm as possible is a plus, for any person, and definitely for you.

Here is my concern: it seems like you are taking all the responsibility for the trouble in the relationship. It is not all your responsibility and she has at least an equal share in it.

Withdrawing from you by not answering your messages is not acceptable to me. When she finally contacts you she is polite and well wishing, but by not answering before, she is being rude to you. Some call it “the silent treatment”, it is a.. silent form of aggression. Being polite when she finally contacts you doesn’t undo the fact that she chose to not answer your messages before.

You wrote: “perhaps as you suggested she is truly conflicted. and wants to see if I can really become and remain that better version of myself”- again, as if you are the Guilty One and you have to prove to her that you are no longer guilty.

When she contacted you so far, sent you a message, didn’t you respond to her within a reasonable time, every time she sent you a message? She doesn’t. This behavior on her part is not a better version of herself, is it?

And so, regarding your last paragraph, I suggest that you send it to her now, and not wait. But do so if you are prepared for the possibility that she once again will not respond to your message. Maybe if and when she does contact you later, she will ignore it altogether.

You have to put your emotional/physical well being on the top of the list of your priorities. The right girlfriend for you would be one who is dependable and reliable, consistent. One who is honest and straightforward. One with whom you won’t have to guess as to what is going on; she would tell you and you would trust that what she tells you is her truth.

I would like it if you posted again with your thoughts, feelings and developments.

anita