Dear anita,

Please see my answers below:

Are you saying then the following regarding your younger son ?:

1. “people are born selfish” and so, your son was born selfish as well.

> Correct

2. “there was nothing utterly wrong in the environment” into which your son was born and in which he has grown up so far.

> Correct

3. Your son genetically inherited “anger and/or anxiety” that led him to resist the proper education that you and your husband provided him, and therefore he did not become altruistic. Instead he remained selfish (and arrogant as well).

> Not correct. I wrote : “I think we did not give him the opportunity to learn to develop a resilience for the frustration of not getting what he wants” To add, we did not establish clear boundaries of what is allowed and what is not.  We are at fault for this.

4. Your son’s anger at you has nothing to do with the nature of his interactions with you, his mother throughout his 13 years and everything to do with his genetics that were set before he was born?

>  This is an over simplification if what I wrote. 

I think, sadly,  we don’t get to understand each other with you any more. Maybe my English is not good enough to explain what I want.

On the other hand, I perceive you imply I am a bad mother which did not know how to interact and help her son to grow and to became a good person and that I fail to understand that I am the only one to blame. If so, I got your idea and I will think about it.

However, according to my therapist, the guilt I experience (and always experienced) prevents me from moving forward and improve my relationship with everyone, including my son. He thinks I “overdo” and might be perceived as “too much”, that I should let go more often than not.  So, somehow what you show me the opposite direction and I think I will pick the path suggested by my therapist. I believe changing direction 180 degree will not do any good for me right now.

I feel sad reading what you think about me, but I don’t want to justify myself any further.

Thank you.